


The Third Time's the Charm

by jewelianna88



Category: Popslash
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-23
Updated: 2011-04-23
Packaged: 2017-10-18 13:49:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/189527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jewelianna88/pseuds/jewelianna88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joey finds a little magic in the attic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Third Time's the Charm

“So, these people just moved and left all of this stuff up here?” Lance asked, hefting another cardboard box from the floor of the attic.

Joey blinked through the dust and kept sorting a pile of VHS tapes and books, pulling out anything that looked interesting and tossing the rest into a trash bag. “I guess they had to move sort of in a hurry, I’m not sure. I don’t even know that all of this stuff belonged to the last owner, some of it seems like it’s been up here for a decade at least.”

“Apparently that guy from the Facebook movie used to live here when he was a kid. Maybe there’s something famous around here we can sell.” So far, though, Joey thought, nothing much had turned up.

Lance just shrugged. “Leave it to your parents to buy a house that’s already full of junk when they’re trying to downsize.” Lance disappeared down the stairs to toss the box into the trash pile that was growing on the curb.

Joey kept sorting until the pile was gone, then turned to a stack of dishes and serving pieces to his left. Most of them were cracked or sporting a 70s-chic brown and yellow flower pattern, but he pulled out a couple of decent things. There was a glass butter dish that was remarkable uncracked and a brass gravy boat that would look kinda cool with his grandmother’s candlesticks.

Sticking the couple of usable things into his backpack along with some of the tapes, Joey slung the bag of trash over his shoulder and headed downstairs. His parents’ decision to downsize made sense, but when his father had scoffed at the idea of movers when “I’ve got two sons and they’ve got friends who’ll work for a six pack,” it had become abundantly clear that Joey was giving up his weekends for the next couple of months. They hadn’t even gotten to the heavy lifting yet, and Joey was exhausted.

**

By the time he got home the sun was going down. There was a note on the counter from Adam that he was going to be coming home for dinner. Great, Joey figured. A fancy meal would be expected, and it was the last thing he wanted after spending the day in the grimy attic. He glanced at the bag on the floor with all of his loot. Might as well check out some of the stuff he’d pulled from the attic.

He was already starting to plan the pan roasted chicken and gravy as he rooted through the tapes and silverware until he found the brass gravy boat. He grabbed the copper cleaner from under the sink hoping it would work on brass.

As he cleaned, the hair on his neck started to stir, that feeling that someone was watching him. Slowly, he looked over his shoulder and almost jumped out of his skin when he saw a man standing there.

“Holy shit!” He dropped the sponge into the sink, and was rewarded with a splash of water all over his shirt. “Who the hell are you? What are you doing in my house?”

The guy looked around. He was shorter than Joey, dressed all in black, with tattoos and leather bracelets on his arms. “Nice place. A little bachelor chic, but potential.” He smiled. “You summoned me here, master. I’m here at your disposal.”

“What the fuck?” Joey glanced around, hoping Adam didn’t walk in just then. If he was crazy, Joey didn’t need witnesses. But he wasn’t crazy. This guy must have broken in. Just walked in the front door. But Joey couldn’t figure it out, though, because he had locked the door when he got home. He knew he had locked it.

“I’m the genie of the lamp.” The guy stood there as if that was supposed to clear things up.

“You’re a what?”

“A genie. You know, magic lamp, three wishes? God, basic folklore is just dying out as time passes.” He waved his fingers and the air seemed to shimmer for a minute. Then the guy leaned against the wall in the kitchen and folded his arms across his chest. “I’ll give you a minute to adapt.”

Joey stared at the strange man in his kitchen and tried to figure out what was going on. “There must have been some chemicals in the attic. I’m hallucinating. It was asbestos or something. Oh, my God, I’m going to die.” He reached out for the counter, life flashing before his eyes. When he looked up again, the guy was still there, rolling his eyes, fidgeting.

“You’re not dying. This is a good thing. Magic wishes.” The guy pointed to the brass object in Joey’s hand. “You rub the lamp, you get the wishes.”

Absently, Joey looked down. “The gravy boat? I found this up in the attic of my parents’ new place.”

“Gravy boat?” The guy snatched it from Joey’s hand and held it gingerly. “You were going to put gravy in my lamp?”

Joey ignored the question, still not sure if he was imagining the entire conversation. He must have been quiet for too long, because the guy walked over and set the lamp down on the counter next to him. “I’m Chris, by the way.”

“Chris.” For some reason, that struck Joey as funny. “I’ve got a genie named Chris.” He started to laugh, on the edge of hysterical.

“What’s wrong with Chris?”

“Nothing, nothing. It’s just so… normal.”

“Whatever. Do you have wishes? I’m missing a MythBusters marathon for this, you know.”

Joey figured he might as well play along. He tried to think of a wish, but his brain wouldn’t focus. “Wait, you watch TV?”

The guy- Chris- rolled his eyes. “I don’t live in the lamp, you know. It doesn’t work that way, no matter what Disney put in the movie.”

“Right, yeah. It’s just. Look, it’s been a long day and I’m exhausted, and I was just going to make some dinner for my boyfriend and crash early, so maybe you could just come back tomorrow?”

“Seriously? I’m here to give you your every heart’s desire and you tell me to come back tomorrow?” Chris grabbed Joey’s arm, spinning him around so they faced each other. “You called me all the way over here, so wish something, damn it!”

“What the hell is this? You’re an abusive genie? Get the hell out of my house!” Joey shook off his hand, thrusting the lamp at Chris’s chest. Chris fumbled to catch it before it fell. “God, I wish I’d told my dad to just hire movers.”

Chris smiled, and suddenly, there was a flash of light and Joey felt dizzy. “Done.”

“Wait, what?” Joey asked, but the phone was ringing, distracting him.

“It’s your dad. Answer it.” Chris said, pointing to Joey’s pocket. Joey looked down, noting it was in fact his father. He touched the screen to accept the call.

“Hey, Dad, what’s up?”

“Hey Joe, just wanted to say thanks for talking me into the movers. Your mother’s already cooking dinner and loving the new place.”

“Uh, yeah, sure Dad, no problem.” Joey stared at Chris while his father talked for a few more minutes before hanging up. “That was my dad,” he said stupidly as he pocked the phone again. “He said the movers just left, which is strange, because I spent the whole day over there cleaning and left expecting to go back and move boxes for him tomorrow.”

“I told you. Gen-ie.” Chris enunciated. “Grants wishes. Got anything else you want?”

Joey was speechless. “You mean I don’t have to go move my parents’ stuff tomorrow?”

“Nope. In fact, they’ll probably invite you all over for dinner tomorrow and tell you how smart you were to insist they get movers and not make you and your brother do it all.” Chris stood back, arms spread. “Genie power.”

“Wow.” Was all Joey could say. “Wow.”

They were interrupted by any further conversation when the front door opened and Adam called his arrival.

“In the kitchen,” Joey said weakly, wondering how he was going to explain… Chris. Adam came around the corner from the hall and stopped short. He was wearing his work suit, face clean of the eyeliner he drew on every time they went out. It was the eyeliner that had gotten Joey hooked. The suit just made him look uptight.

“Hi.” He looked back and forth between the two of them curiously. “What’s going on?”

“Adam, this is Chris. He’s a friend…” he started, fumbling to find a believable story.

“From school,” Chris chimed in. “I was working on his parents move and we ran into each other for the first time in a while. Joey offered me a beer.”

“What? Yeah. Sorry, we just got in a few minutes ago ourselves. It’s been kind of a long day.”

Adam sighed and eased onto one of the bar stools. “Tell me about it. What’s for dinner?”

Joey snagged three beers from the fridge and popped them open, dropping the caps in the trash as he passed them around. “Ah, I haven’t really started anything yet.”

A strange flicker crossed Adam’s face. “I thought you were going to cook. You said you were going to cook something.” He didn’t drink anything, only stared pointedly at Joey.

“I was. I just got caught up, seeing Chris and everything. I’m sorry, we can order something in.” Joey reached for his phone.

Adam pushed the beer across the counter, untouched, and got up. “Don’t bother. I’ll just go home and get something there.” He grabbed his keys and walked out without another word. Joey stared after him for a moment then took a long drink.

“So, ah, that’s your boyfriend?” Chris asked tentatively.

“Yeah,” Joey said. “That’s Adam.”

“He’s kind of an ass,” Chris observed. “Want to wish him ugly? I can do it!”

“No!” Joey proclaimed, though the idea brightened his spirits considerably. “Just, I’m gonna order a pizza, you want some?”

“Sure,” Chris said, taking his beer into the living room and grabbing the remote. “Get sausage.”

Sausage for his mythological visitor, Joey thought. Awesome.

**

Two days later, Joey had a clean bill of health, Chris was still around, and he was getting agitated. He paced around the kitchen while Joey ate a bowl of cereal for breakfast.

“Do you know what the average time is for people to use their 3 wishes? 10 minutes. 10! The first two, fast, and the last one they think about for a couple of minutes. You’re close to breaking records here. You seriously can’t think of anything else to wish for?”

“I don’t know, I’m pretty happy with what I have.” Joey looked at his phone. He sort of wanted to wish that Adam would call, but that seemed like a waste of a wish. “Hey, where do you keep getting a change of clothes anyway?”

Chris looked down at his black shirt and jeans. “Magic genie. Clothes are easy.” He opened the fridge and grabbed a can of Coke.

“You’re gonna drink that for breakfast?” Joey asked incredulously. Two days with Chris had shown him the genie had the appetite of a ten year old. Caffeine and sugar were his two major food groups.

“It’s no worse than that cup of coffee, the way you dump in the sugar,” Chris said between swallows. He finished the can and tossed it into the recycling bin. “Seriously. Wish time. I wanna get back home sometime this decade.”

“How old are you, anyway?” Joey asked.

“Three thousand, give or take. Long enough to know that you are the longest wish-maker in the history of the planet. Number two. Wish Adam would call? Wish he’d fall off a cliff? Get scabies from a prostitute on the wrong side of town?”

“Scabies? What century is that from?” Joey asked in jest. The images going through his mind were entertaining, though. “I really should break up with him, huh?”

“He stomped out two days ago because you hadn’t made him dinner, and hasn’t called since. I think he might have already dumped you.” Chris stopped moving for once and leaned across the peninsula counter. “Why are you even with him, anyway? He’s an ass, and you’re… not.”

Joey shrugged. “I was bored, and he was cool at first. He’s different when he’s not working and I don’t know. It seemed like a chance for something different.”

“Different isn’t always good,” Chris said. “Want to wish he’d be nice to you?”

“It always comes back to wishing with you, doesn’t it?” Joey got up and rinsed his bowl in the sink, then drank the rest of his coffee before refilling the mug and attaching the travel cap. “I’m gonna be late for work.”

“Have a good day, dear.” Chris batted his eyelashes like a 1950s housewife. “Don’t you just wish you didn’t have to go?”

“Not in a million years am I falling for that,” Joey answered as he left, closing the door and locking it behind him. Joey didn’t doubt Chris could break through the lock, but hoped it at least slowed him down before he started wreaking havoc on the rest of the world.

**

Slowly, Chris started to grow on him. He kicked Joey’s ass at every video game known to man, something about having infinite time to practice since Pong was invented. He ate like a teenager, but he knew more about music than anyone Joey had ever met. Joey would have expected him to be getting annoying, but was kinda fun to have hanging around, despite the constant hints about making wishes.

“Look, all I’m saying is that if you’re seriously talking about the best guitarists of all time you have to include Jeff Beck on the list.” Chris scanned Joey’s iPod, nodding or sneering every once in a while.

“Fine, download something, I’ll listen to it and let you know.” Joey pulled a rack of ribs off of the grill and slathered on another layer of sauce. They were eating outside that night, letting Joey test out a new recipe from the restaurant where he worked.

“Of course, you really should include Mortimer of Guell, but he was dead a millennium before recordings were invented so you’re out of luck there.” Chris looked up suddenly. “Hey, don’t you wish you could hear Mortimer play?”

“No.” Joey closed the lid of the grill and reached for his beer. “Hey, I called Adam yesterday. He sounded, um. Busy.”

Chris raised an eyebrow. A quiet “douche bag” sang out from his lips.

“Yeah,” Joey laughed. “Guess that’s over.”

“You seem to be taking it pretty well,” Chris observed. He put down the iPod and headed to the cooler for another beer. “Guess you don’t want to wish a freak tornado on his house?”

“Nope. How do you keep coming up with these anyway?”

Chris just shrugged. “Three thousand years of imagination.”

**

The second wish snuck up on him rather quickly, as Joey was driving home from work. There was a car wash to raise money for a local kid with cancer outside the high school. He pulled in and paid the five dollars to have his SUV scrubbed by a bunch of teenagers, letting the idea mull around in his brain while he watched and worried about scratches to his paint job.

When he got home, Joey found Chris at the kitchen table with the laptop open. “Hey, about those wishes. Can you keep someone from dying?”

“What do you mean? Like, eternal life? Cause you have to seriously think about that, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.” Chris closed the computer and drummed his fingers on the edge.

“No, like. There’s this little girl with cancer and they’re raising money to pay for her treatments and stuff. Could you, like, cure her?”

Chris’s face softened, his eyes shimmery for a second. “I can’t do it, Joe. I can mess around with the physical universe, but life, love, and death are out of my hands. What will be will be when it comes to those things.”

“Oh.” Joey’s heart sank. “Ok, well, it was just an idea.” He sat down opposite from Chris, reaching for the computer.

“You could wish her the money, though,” Chris offered.

Joey looked up with interest. “Yeah? That’s good, right?”

“Yeah, it is.” Chris smiled at him. “You gotta say it, though.”

“I wish the Help Hannah fund had enough money to cover all of her medical expenses.”

Chris did the thing with his hands and they shimmered, and then dizziness, and there was nothing.

“That’s it?” Joey asked.

“Yup.” Chris got him and walked around the table. He trailed a hand up Joey’s arm as he passed, lingering on his shoulder. “That was a good wish.”

“Thanks,” Joey answered, smiling as he turned his attention to his email and Chris left the room.

**

Having a mythical creature as a houseguest was a bit of a cramp in his style. Adam may have bought the whole ‘school friend’ thing, but his friends and family actually KNEW his school friends. Since Chris wouldn’t leave his side except while he was at work, Joey spent a lot of time at home, making lame excuses as for why he couldn’t go out. He wasn’t surprised, then, when the doorbell early Saturday night and Lance was on his doorstep with a six pack of beer and a pissed off expression on his face.

“What the hell, Joe?” He pushed his way into the house, heading straight for the fridge. He dropped off the beers and left them to chill, turning instead to pin Joey with his freaky pale eyes. “You dropped off the face of the earth or what?”

“Sorry,” Joey offered lamely. He glanced down the hall to where Chris was watching TV. “It’s kind of a long story.” He tried to figure out a plausible story, but the only thing that came to mind was the truth. It’d probably get him committed though. Lance wasn’t overly inclined to the supernatural.

Lance held out his arms. “I got all night. And by the way, please call your mom so she’ll stop calling me asking if you’re around and why you’re not answering her calls.”

“Ok, so. Remember the day my parents’ moved?” Joey started. “Well, this guy showed up.”

“That’s me.” Chris wandered in, looking more pulled together than Joey had ever seen him. His hair was gelled into spikes, his shirt had a collar, and wow, he was kind of hot. Was that eyeliner? Joey was such a sucker for eyeliner. “Hi, I’m Chris. Sorry I’ve kept him kind of occupied lately.”

Lance looked back and forth between the two of them in shock. “You’re… hi.” He fixed his gaze on Joey. “What happened to Adam?”

“Adam and I broke up. I realized he was kind of an ass.” Joey stood awkwardly in the kitchen.

“And then I showed up and made him forget all about Adam.” Chris grinned at Joey. “It’s been a fun rebound.”

“Right, yeah, ok,” Lance said. “So, uh, hi, I’m Lance. Joey’s friend.” He held out a hand and Chris shook it vigorously. “So how did you guys meet?”

“We ran into each other at Joey’s folks’ new house. I knew the old owner.” Chris winked at Joey, clearly enjoying the game. He reached out for Joey’s arm, letting his thumb rub back and forth carefully.

“Right, well. I’m gonna leave you guys, I guess. Joe, why don’t you call me some time next week, ok?” Lance looked between them one more time, then turned and left the room. The front door slammed a few seconds later.

Joey looked at Chris, still hung up on the eyeliner. “Dude, you just told my best friend we were sleeping together!”

Chris rolled his eyes. “I implied it. Totally different. Besides you were going to tell him the truth, weren’t you?”

“I considered it.” Joey didn’t really know what else to say, and Chris was standing pretty damn close. It was distracting.

Chris just stared at him. “You know nobody would believe you. They’d think you were crazy.”

“Aren’t I?” Joey asked. “I mean, you’re not supposed to be real, but you’re here, and you’re magic, and you seem to get me better than anyone who actually exists in this dimension. It’s fucked up.”

Chris paused and slowly backed away. “Sure, yeah, no, I get it. You have to be honest with your friends. After all, one more wish and I’m gone, right?”

“Chris,” Joey said, but Chris just waved him away and stomped back to the living room. The sound blared on the television and Joey was left in the kitchen, alone.

**

Things were weird for a couple of days. Chris was there but they didn’t interact much. It dawned on Joey a few days later that Chris hadn’t been bugging him about his third wish much.

He wondered why, when the push for the second wish had been such an issue in every conversation. He picked up the lamp Chris had left on the media case in the living room, trying to figure out what made it so special.

“It’s not the lamp, you know.” Chris leaned against the door jam, jean shorts hanging low on his hips under a black football jersey. “It’s just a thing. The original ones, they could have chosen anything, but even the poorest people had an oil lamp. We’re supposed to be here to help those in need.”

Joey set the lamp back down. “Do you?”

Chris snorted. “The last guy who summoned me was a 14 year old kid who wanted to be the most famous singer, most famous actor, and have the hottest girlfriends in the world. Not exactly world peace caliber.” He came in and sat down on the couch, reaching for the Wii controller. He played with the rubber casing but didn’t start the game.

“So, do you ever get to say no? I mean, do people ever wish for awful things to happen?”

“Sometimes. I usually try to spin it, semantics, you know. But yeah, it sucks.”

Joey sat down on the black leather recliner and stared at his genie. At Chris. “If I never use my third wish, could you just, like, hang out forever? Cause it’s cool, you know. I like having you here.”

Chris shook his head. “It wouldn’t work. It’s too common a phrase. Eventually, you’d slip and wish for something stupid like the neighbor to stop mowing his lawn at 6 AM, and then I’d just be gone.” He was quiet for a minute. “But it’s OK, you know. I’m used to it.”

“It still sucks,” Joey said. He tried to think of something else, but Chris turned on the game and ended the conversation with a round of virtual tennis.

**  
Joey was careful after Chris’s warning about slipping. He didn’t even think about wishing. And, deciding that he’d avoided the rest of the world for long enough, he called his mother and dragged Chris out to the new house for dinner.

Watching Chris with his family was amazing. He joked with Joey’s dad about baseball and New York, he made all the right remarks about Joey’s mom’s sauce, and he ate like a starving orphan, the surest way to win the heart of Italian parents anywhere. When they left, Chris let out a belch that was probably heard in Canada. “Your folks are awesome. I’d never leave if I were you.”

“You’re a guest. Give it time and they’ll start asking you why you’re not married and giving them grandchildren.” Joey shook his head as they got into the car. “Do you know they’ve even scoped out venue sites in Massachusetts for me?”

“Wow.” Chris said. “That’s sort of cool.”

Joey started the car and leaned back to look behind him as he backed out of the driveway. His arm brushed Chris’s shoulder as he stretched. Chris looked over at him. As Joey turned forward again, their eyes caught. He saw something sort of sad there.

“Do you remember your parents? Do you have parents?” he asked.

Chris shook his head. “Nope. No one dragging me down.” But despite the happy phrase, he was unusually quiet on the ride home.

**

Finally, Joey couldn’t take it any more. He got up, went to work, and came home to a mopey genie. And despite the hotness of Chris, he felt like the guy was getting more miserable by the day. He just sat in front of the computer playing solitaire all day long.

“Look,” Joey said. “Maybe I should just make my third wish and let you go. Get back to your life.”

Chris looked up from the computer, surprised. “What?”

“You’re not happy anymore. You haven’t listened to music in weeks, you’re not downing sugar like it’s your lifeline anymore, and just. I don’t want to keep you if you don’t want to be here.”

Chris jumped up. “No, Joey, don’t!”

Joey, shocked by the outburst, held up his hands. “OK! I just thought…”

“I know,” Chris replied. He walked over to Joey and pulled his hands down. “I’m not unhappy about being here. I just don’t want to go back. Every day it’s closer, and it’s just. This is good,” he said. “This is way good and I don’t want to lose it.”

Joey stared down at Chris and wondered why he hadn’t figured that out before. “This is good,” he repeated, and looked to where Chris held his wrists, pleading. He turned his hands over, letting them rest palm to palm under Chris’s. “You said I can’t mess around with life and love, right?”

Chris shook his head. “Stupid fucking rules.”

“Yeah. So what can I do? Can I wish you were really my boyfriend?”

Chris’s eyes widened, but his mouth pressed into a thin line. “No. That’s love, destiny.”

“Can I wish you human so you can make the choice?”

Chris fidgeted and looked away. He seemed awfully fascinated by the linoleum.

“Can I?” Joey repeated.

“Yeah, you can.”

“Do you want that?”

Chris stared at him with such awe. “Hell, yes. But I gotta tell you, it’s probably a waste of a really good wish. I mean, you’ve got anything in the world at your finger tips and you’ll be throwing it all away just to have…”

“-you,” Joey finished. “Chris, I wish you were human and not a genie.”

That shimmery thing happened again, but this time, it traveled up Chris’s wrists to the black bracelets he wore and the tattoos on his forearms. Joey watched as the glow intensified and then suddenly disappeared. Nothing was left but the hum of the dishwasher.

Chris looked up at him slowly, shrugging his shoulders, seeming to be testing out his muscles and bones. “I can’t believe you did that,” he said.

“I can’t believe it took me that long,” Joey answered. He leaned down and kissed Chris deeply. Chris’s hands squeezed his and he stepped in closer, until Joey drew away and leaned his forehead down against Chris’s.

No magic this time, he thought. This was finally real.

END


End file.
